Sunday, 1 March 2015

Tropical Adventures, part 2

Alright, everyone, I think I have left you stewing over that cliffhanger from the last post for long enough. So strap in for part two of the Oates Family Adventures!

When we left off we had made it through high seas and terror to the tiny Heron Island, which is directly on the reef. This means (1) you can walk into the sea from the beach and immediately start snorkelling on the reef, (2) "the beach" is literally the whole island, and (3) it's rather pretty:

Hello tropical island!
So how, I hear you ask, did you lose your mother on such a ridiculously tiny island? Well...

Not wanting to waste our short time there, we went for a walk to the nearest beach and Jan and I decided to go snorkelling while mom and dad went for a longer walk. So off they went. Ten minutes later, my dad reappears asking if we've seen mom. He had nipped to the loo and then carried on walking but couldn't find her anywhere. We laughed at him - how could you lose someone on this tiny island?! Go and look again, silly daddy. 40 minutes later and he still can't find mom, and has enlisted the help of the staff to perform what must be the Guinness Book of Records tiniest hunt for a human ever. It's at times like this, however, that all those "interest" stories we cover on the TV at work start creeping into you head ("Woman abducted by merman! Sharks grow legs to eat people on land! Jurassic dinosaurs found on tiny island!) and you start to get a bit nervy. Ten minutes after that, the missing mother was found sitting peacefully on another beach wondering what on earth all the fuss is about. It turns out she hadn't heard dad saying he was going to the loo and thought she had just lost sight of him round a corner. So she merrily wended her way around the whole island, before realising what must have happened. She knows only too well the amazing propensity of my father to lose anything and everything (including an incident which involved throwing both rubbish and car keys together into the local tip) and so she had sat down to wait for him, before being "rescued' by a bemused staff member. On the return journey we overhead said member of staff saying it was "the most exciting thing that had happened all week". And that is the sort of thing we cheerfully chalk up as an Oates Family Adventure.

Having located my mother, we then set about trying to calm our nerves by feeding my dad a Margarita cocktail and laughing at the look on his face. Suffice to say he is not a fan. We stopped overnight on the island and had a lovely morning, with more snorkelling time, and a guided walk by mom showing us exactly where she had gone the previous day. Here is me doing my best Ursula Andress impression - or as dad likes to call her, "Ursula Undress".

Please also note the snorkel mask I am wearing. I have indeed inherited my father's genes - I had forgotten my contact lenses, without which snorkelling is an impossibility. Although they had masks with prescription lenses at the resort, my eyesight is so very bad that in the end Jan and the man in the shop had to stick two sets of lenses together with masking tape and then tape them into the mask for me to be able to see anything. It's a really classy look, let me tell you. Jan went scuba diving and maintains it is better than the more traditional barrier reef diving sites, as it's a mere ten minute boat trip and there are way more fish to see. He saw four sharks, turtles, a giant manta ray and a groper fish as well as all the multi-coloured smaller fish.

After a much less eventful return to the mainland, we were off to our next island destination - Fraser Island (K'gari is the Aboriginal name). It is an amazing island, made entirely of sand and yet still supporting a rainforest on it and a dingo population.

Look at the fluffy wuffy ickle doggy
Dingoes are controversial on the island as they have attacked and killed people in the past, since tourists did the wrong thing and fed them, so they became unafraid. Their population was culled almost to destruction, and they suffered greatly (one dingo was found starved, with nothing but a chocolate bar wrapper in his stomach) but they bounced back and the natural balance has been restored. Just don't get out of your jeep to pet them, or - as one rather foolish chef did - go onto the beach at night in the apron you've just finished cutting meat in. Doesn't work out well.

The best thing to do on Fraser Island is drive:
Ahhhh, the open road...
This is us with our tour group for the day. With a choice of all of the stunning views, dad picked outside the toilets for this:

The next best thing to do is swim - in "champagne" if possible. This "champagne" was in fact rather smelly seawater that splashes up behind you and into the rock pool, which has a jacuzzi effect:

What do you mean, look out behind you?!
And much fun we had, too. We also swam in a stream and a lake that consisted of rainwater. It was really really soft and pure.
Also, the shipwrecks here are quite pretty. This ship is slooowly sinking into the sand and the bit you can see is only the top deck:

We stopped overnight on Fraser Island, before heading back to the mainland and further down the coast to Noosa, which was a culture shock to say the least. After a week of being surrounded by the peace and beauty of nature (minus the odd screeching cockatoo), suddenly we were in a town full of designer shops, fancy cars and trendy parents. Yack.

We did manage to find a nice nature reserve and were rewarded with our first sighting of a koala in the wild! It was quite a spot, as we were informed only two lived in that area, and it was a pretty big area. But some intense staring at trees finally paid off:

A koala in the wild!
But then it was time to bid farewell to sunny Queensland. We had a fantastic trip, made lots of good memories and stayed in lots of wonderful places. It was great to spend some quality time with my parents and have some Antipodal Adventures with them too. But for now, it was back to the airport and down to Sydney (with some losses of passports thrown in for good measure, of course).

Saturday, 7 February 2015

Tropical adventures

So, after all that non-chronological Christmas craziness, it's waaay back to October and our trip to Queensland with my parents.

We had a lovely trip, starting in the Whitsunday Islands, where Jan and I have been before - on a once-in-a-lifetime trip, where we basically bankrupted ourselves on helicopter rides and boat trips because we were never going to visit there again.  Ahem.  

After a mere hop, skip and two plane rides, we were there and enjoying some serious sunshine. Airlie Beach is a chilled out town, with some nice restaurants and beautiful views to the islands, provided you are willing to sweat out every tiny droplet of water in your body to climb a steep hill to look.  We were most definitely NOT willing to do that - only... well... I managed to book us a hotel at the top of one of the steepest hills in town. Way to go, me! Welcome to Australia, 70-year-old parents! Let's go street hiking in 35 degree weather! It was kind of worth it though:

Chilling out in our hotel pool

We took a taxi up after the first trek. 

We booked ourselves on a boat trip for our second day there, which took us around the islands, stopping off at Whitehaven Beach for a BBQ picnic and Whitsunday Island for some scenic views:

Views from Whitsunday Island

We came, we saw, we took a commemorative photo

Whitehaven Beach - the sand squeaks between your toes, it's so fine!

No, my dad isn't wearing a shirt in the last picture - it's the English complexion abroad! 

On Sunday, we took our once-in-a-lifetime (again) flight over the islands and out to the reef. I have to say, this is the best way to really get excellent views of the Great Barrier Reef, although typically the men were way more excited about the landing and taking off in the seaplane side of things:

Someone is rather excited.... Can you guess who it is yet?!

This is Heart Reef. Romantic innit. 

Views from the plane

We have a bazillion more pictures of these views, so click here if you want more eye-boggling imagery. Suffice to say, no one was disappointed with that excursion!

In fact some of us were so excited, we had to go up again! Although less for the stunning views and more for the stomach-churning, goggle wearing, 70-year-old plane flying aerial trickery:

That magnificent man in his flying machine

Here we go loop-de-loop!

I mean, just cos you have to wind the plane up by the front propeller and a rubber band, it doesn't mean it's dangerously out-of-date or anything...

After three days of fun it was time to leave Airlie, and head down the coast in search of another island. So we packed up, hit the road and 20 mins later, I navigated Jan in the completely wrong direction and we ended up on a coffee plantation. Which is completely the RIGHT turn of events, if you ask me...

Coffee fresh from the plantation

We stopped at a fantastic old bed and breakfast that night, in a small town called Gladstone, and next morning, we set off by boat to our next destination - Heron Island:

No idea what's coming...

Pay attention to the completely innocent, unsuspecting looks on our faces. This was approximately half an hour before we were subjected to the most traumatic boat trip I have ever taken. Have you ever seen the movie, The Perfect Storm? Yeah. If you haven't, then imagine, if you will, being stuck in a catamaran on open sea in the middle of a HUGE storm for TWO HOURS. With really high waves hitting the windows. And schoolchildren*. Vomiting. And your 70-year-old parents. Who came to see you and enjoy the SUN and BLUE SKIES and not TO DIE AT SEA. Me? I buried myself in my seat and gripped the arm rests for all I was worth. My mom? Took out her teeth in case she was sick. My dad? Tried to cheer us up with jokes. Jan? Sat on the UPPER DECK for the ENTIRE trip and thought it was ace.

* Inside the catamaran with us, I mean. Not hitting the windows.

Shaking and weak, we arrived on Heron Island, and wished all the poor souls booked on the return trip good luck. We rushed to the bar for the complimentary cocktail we had been promised. I finally broke down when I realised that, after managing to brave two hours of maritime mayhem, THERE WAS NO ALCOHOL IN THE GODDAM COCKTAILS.

Next time on the blog: how we lose my mother on the smallest island ever! Will we make it back to the mainland without dying? How we bathed in pools of champagne! Our rarest animal spot yet!

Thursday, 25 December 2014

Merry Christmas!

Deck the halls with boughs of fake tree, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Tis the season to be (a bit too) jolly, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now our gay apparel, 
Fa la la, la la la, la la la. 

Troll the Coogee Christmas carol, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

I feel this needs further info - there was a carol concert by the beach in our suburb of Coogee.  Just so ya know.

See the blazing Yule* before us, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
* Sun 

Strike the harp and join the chorus. 
Fa la la la la, la la la la. 

Follow me in merry (wine) measure, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

While I tell of Yule tide treasure*, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la. 

* Food. Food is precious, like treasure.

Christmas couscous! I realise it's not exactly the best food photo ever, but I was too busy eating it to care...

Fast away the old year passes, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la. 
Hail the new, ye lads and lasses, 
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Janta Klaas says you'd better have a good 2015, or he's coming at you with the Blue Steel...


Monday, 8 December 2014

Things we lost on holiday

The next section of my parents' visit concerns our holiday to Queensland.  However, I feel it's important to be honest and give you some understanding of a typical Oates family holiday.  I therefore present the following list of the things we lost on holiday:
  1. My passport*.  
  2. My parents' passports
  3. My glasses
  4. My dad's glasses
  5. My dad's camera
  6. My dad's hat
  7. My engagement ring
  8. Jan's patience with this ridiculous family who lose everything
  9. My mother
But you can all breathe safely - we pretty much found everything again.

* I had put it in a safe place.  You know the one - it's so safe even you don't know where it is.

Thursday, 4 December 2014


Or, cake-for-breakfast day, as it's known in our house.  It was fantastic having my parents here to celebrate with me, because:
  1. I hadn't seen them for ten months, so being able to spend the day with them was super special.
  2. We got to go to the Opera House for our first time and theirs.
  3. Having your parents around always makes you revert to behaving like a child, anyway, so I felt much younger than the 21* I was turning.
* What?!

But mainly it was number 1.   To start the day, it's a tradition that the birthday person gets a birthday table - including, but not limited to: a cake, flowers, candles, a present, cards,  chocolates, miscellaneous sundry treats.  This year I got TWO birthday tables!

The inside table, flowers, cake, gift and cards achievement unlocked
Outside table - good weather and good company achievement unlocked
 After spending a lovely day together, we got togged up in our best attire and headed to the opera house.  We had a lovely dinner there, with this as the view:

Then we had a great time watching the King and I.  Sadly, we seem to have no pictures of us all looking dapper and sophisticated, but let's just pretend you can imagine that, ok?!

All in all, a satisfactory start to my 21st* year!

* Seriously, what?!

Sunday, 16 November 2014

Antipodal Adventures: Parental Edition #1

Right, it's time for the first instalment of the excitement of having my parents here. They arrived at the end of September, looking dazed, bleary-eyed and slightly shellshocked by the joys of long haul travel. "There was just so... much... orange juice". But they had had a nice stop off in Singapore for a couple of days to break up the journey. And, just to make them feel really at home from the start, it solidly rained all day on their arrival. Thanks, Sydney.

The first few days were spent recuperating from the jet lag and processing the whole 'being on the other side' of the world thing and also discovering the wonders of a couch with a chaise longue*.

* If you're short like me and my dad, you can stick your legs out ALL THE WAY and you still don't reach the end! Wheee! Needless to say, that became "Dad's spot" very quickly.

Then it was time to go out and explore.  We took them on a mini road trip down the coast to Botany Bay to show them where all the crims first washed up:

It turned out that the fleet arrived at Botany Bay on the recommendations of a previous ship that had stopped there. However, the first ship had arrived in the Australian winter and had marked it down as lush and liveable.  By the time the First Fleet got here,  it was summer and an arid wasteland again and they were like, "What the heck were those guys thinking? Eff this schizzle" and moved on up the coast to Sydney Harbour. 

But as we were visiting in early spring, we got the nice version too:

Full disclose: Jan hates this top I'm wearing with a passion. Well, ok, he strongly dislikes it. But I am NOT getting tan lines for my wedding dress, dammit, and I don't care how awful I look in the meantime, 
Then we took them along the Grand Pacific Drive to see the sea bridge and the beautiful coastline. In the face of such beauty, my dad remained the most impressed by how much taller Jan is than him:

So that was their first few days!  In the next edition: it's cake-for-breakfast day!

Saturday, 8 November 2014


I am lazy.  Not just a little bit lazy, like, oh I can't be bothered to <insert whatever task> right now, but BIG FAT SUPER lazy, where even getting up sometimes can be a problem. Sure I can get ready to leave the house for work in 10 minutes!  In fact I can probably do it in 8, so maybe I will snooze for an extra two minutes! *Arrives at work stupidly late because no-one can get from bed to work in 8 fecking minutes*.  And then I do it all again the next day.

Mainly I waste spend most of my time on the internet.  And I sit there reading about all these great things and really getting excited, like, yeah! I am soooo going to do that*, it sounds fantastic. In fact I'm going to start right now! And then three hours later, I am still sitting on the sofa mentally compiling all the great things I'm going to do, whilst not having moved an inch.  Even now, I have stopped writing this to buy a voucher for yoga classes and check Facebook (even though most people I know are asleep on the other side of the world right now) because, also, I now have the attention span of a 3-year-old child.

* that = anything from actually eating breakfast in the morning, to doing regular exercise, to being more organised and responsible, to swimming with crocodiles...

It's the same with the blog.  I'm driving to work, or sitting on my arse doing housework and a great idea comes into my head, and it's frikking hilarious!  And then I sit down to write something and forget it all instantly and write complete rubbish instead.


Hence why it's only now, a week after they've gone, that I'm telling you about my parents being here for six weeks.  Six weeks! And only now do I sit down to, I don't know, perhaps mention it at all?! It being so very important and huge and all?! Good job, Cate!

Haaaanyway.  So yeah, my parents came to visit. It was great fun and we had lots of adventures, which I will tell you about soon.  You know, I mean, soon as in maybe possibly at least before next year.  Well, if I get round to it.  Cos... you know... I have all that important Facebook lurking to do. Oh, and I suppose I should use that yoga voucher. Maybe. Let me just check what's happened on Imgur first, then I'll definitely go. Definitely. In a minute.

In the meantime, have a picture of my dad, the intrepid explorer, who is ready for anything at all times:
The quintessential Englishman abroad...