Antipodal Adventures
Recipe for Desperation (serves two)
Tuesday 28th January 2014
Ingredients: One bottle of wine. One cork. Two glasses. No corkscrew.
Method: 1. Set up a nice candlelit balcony outside in the warm evening air. 2. Take the bottle of chilled wine from fridge, licking your chops as you go. 3. Prepare glasses to receive wine. 4. Realise you don't have the corkscrew. OR ANY OTHER USEFUL KITCHEN EQUIPMENT. 5. Mull over situation and try to be stoic. ("Mull"ed wine anyone?! No?!) 6. Stuff stoicism and embrace the literalism of the words "cork" and "screw"...
.jpg)
Big gaff!
Thursday 23rd January 2014
I do remember at the start of this blog claiming I might be posting, quote, "a list of embarrassing mistakes I have made which have gone out on national news". So in the interests of fair trading standards etc I give you this little gem.
There is a cricket tournament going on at the moment called the Big Bash. So what did I write?
"Stay with us - coming up next, more big gash."
Die Qual der Wahl.... (or "How many furnitures are there???!!!")
Friday 17th January 2014
We have now been in our new flat for two weeks and we still love it. Although it is still as empty as ... well ... as empty as my head trying to think of a metaphor for this. We have been doing some serious schlepping around various furniture stores and the main thing we have learned is - there is WAY too much choice out there. Seriously. How many different choices of toilet brush do you need?!
I initially thought it would be so exciting to fit out our new flat, but it's actually quite intimidating. Every time we come home there are empty rooms begging for tables and chairs and sofas and cute-stuffs-that-do-nothing-but-look-purrrty - FILL ME, SEYMOUR, FILL ME! And it's all too much!
We finally managed to find a sofa we liked after about five trips to the shop, putting the assistant through, above and beyond his paces. We took measuring tapes, got him to move the sofa around (it's a modular thingummy, and you can swap it about all over the place), switch this arm to the right and that chaise to the left and, oh, maybe we could move that chair from over there to over here to see if it works, but no it doesn't, so move it back again, WORK, MONKEY, WORK TO PLEASE US!! SELL US YOUR SOFA!!! Fortunately the guy was amazing with us (mainly I think cos Jan was shamelessly flirting with him) and seemed completely happy to be rearranging the entire store for us. And that was just one trip. His poor little heart must have sunk every time we darkened that furniture store door.
... read the rest of "Die Qual der Wahl.... (or "How many furnitures are there???!!!")"