Bah. I always knew, if I ever started a blog, that the first sentence of the first post would be the hardest. Even with news. BIG news. Big news you aren’t quite sure when, how and who to share it with. So I will take the approach I have adopted with the people I have told so far and just blurt it out. So, guys, I have big news about me and Jan. We’re moving. To Australia. So there.
Phew, it’s out.
For a variety of reasons that information seems somewhat awkward to share. Firstly, we are very firmly in the land of red tape, waiting for nominations and visa applications and flights and guff and blah, so there’s always the possibility of a future retraction of said news accompanied by a mumbly, red-faced explanation of how we were rejected by an ENTIRE COUNTRY. Secondly, we are 34 and 36 respectively, so any hint of the words “big news” seems to be followed by the person you are talking to visibly readying themselves to shout “you’re engaaaaaged, congratulations!!” or, “you’re having a baybeeee, congratulations!!”. This is then rapidly followed by a completely bemused expression when it is neither of the above.
But the people we have told so far have all been incredibly excited on our behalf – more excited, I think, than I am myself. Not that I’m not excited. I really am. But at the moment the excitement is like a reluctant child being dragged along by Mother of God WHAT ARE WE DOING??!! We have a great life here in London – good friends, fun hobbies, jobs we both love (and which seem to be surviving the economic situation), and yet we are going to let it all go and head to a city we’ve never been to. It somehow seems … ungrateful for what we have. Reckless. Something I should have done in my twenties when everything seemed less risky somehow. I will be working in an area I have never tried before and I already know it is going to be intense and hugely challenging. And there is a real possibility it is something I am not quite good enough to take on yet. Almost there, but not quite. I don’t know. JK so far is still looking for work, although we are confident he will have a job before we leave. Not to mention the beautiful people I love on this island that I will be leaving behind to head to a different one. My parents, my sisters-from-other-mothers who I can’t even begin to fathom how I will get through a day without, friends from work and theatre and skiing and and and…
But don’t get me wrong, I am not a pessimist. I know we can do this. I’ve always wanted to live in another country, try a different lifestyle, be that cool person that travelled the world and experienced other cultures. I AM excited about this. It’s just so huge. But it’s happening. So I’m hanging on to the wise words of Eleanor Roosevelt:
“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”
Whatever this blog turns out to be (photo journal, thoughts and feelings on a new city, a list of embarrassing mistakes I have made which have gone out on national news), I hope it will reflect that sentiment.